Thursday, March 24, 2011

Glenn Bio

My best friend Glenn asked me to write a bio of him for his bands website. (  ) I wrote two up, one being super funny, and one being just funny. For whatever reason, they went with the funny one. So here's the super funny one.

Born to two circus performers (The Bearded Lady and a trapeze artist) in the mid eighties, Glenn Booth tired of the circus life by age nine. Packing up his treasured possessions (six Pogs, a battered and worn copy of bestselling memoir Eat, Pray, Love, and a chicken named Dave) Glenn left his parents and family and struck out for parts unknown. Piecing together the few bits of known fact with some wild conjecture, we can trace Glenn's path from the circus, to Hunting Agnes. Glenn met, early in his travels, Elvis, who had indeed faked his death, so he could have the freedom to shop in dingy flea markets in the south. Glenn came away from the brief friendship with a love of scarves, peanut butter and banana sandwiches, and a sequin jumpsuit six sizes too big. Dave didn't come away at all, unfortunately, having found himself in the greasy clutches of Elvis, where he was pulled apart and devoured. Inspired by the famous musician, Glenn decided to pursue a life of music, and he spent a few years mastering the guitar. Sadly, while walking down the street, Glenn tripped over his giant jumpsuit and hit his head, forgetting everything he had leaned about guitar. The blow to his head was so bad, Glenn found it impossible to re lean how to use six strings, and had to settle on the bass, with it's easier to comprehend four strings. Glenn made a quick name for himself as a bassist, playing behind some of the greatest singers and bands in the business. It's rumored he's the inspiration for such songs as 'You're so Vain', 'Hot For Teacher' (Which was originally titled Hot For Bassist), and ' I like Big Butts'. After yeas of working on his own, traveling to lend a bass line to those who needed it, Glenn yearned to have that family connection he had left so long ago at the circus, and found his brothers and a friend, and together they formed Hunting Agnes

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