So limited commercials means...

More commercials than normal?

I'm slowly making my way though the first episode (it's two hours) of Falling Skies on TNT (or something, lol.) and thee were about forty three commercials for the show before it started. Then they did a countdown from 60 seconds with yet more clips of the show you were about to watch. Then a car came on screen and they said the car company made it possible to show this with limited commercials. Then the show finally started. Then there was commercials. But it took about fifteen minutes before they showed them, so awesome.  Then eight minutes later there were more commercials. Wait a minute... Then the show was back, and then in less than ten minutes again, another commercial break! Dear TNT, stop with you lies.

Some More Random Crap

Dear people who made the upcoming film Bad Teacher, Cameron Diaz is ugly. She was hot in The Mask, like a million years ago, then proceeded to get angular and bony. Seriously no part of her body curves. It's all triangles. She looks like Starscream from the Transformer flicks.

On a related note, Starscream or Star Scream? I'm not sure, and I don't care.

On another related note, Scream 4 comes out on DVD and Blu Ray in October. I think the fourth. Please buy it you jerks, so I can have a Scream 5.

How are the Reds still only two (and a half?) games back when it seems like they've lost 90 out of the last 92 games.

Gabe got me a Green Lantern toy and Sherlock Holmes on Blu Ray for fathers day. As he hugged me later he whispered- "Daddy, I think we should both be able to play with the Green Lantern toy." Like father like son. I buy him stuff for presents because I want to play with it too.

Man, my place of work is really becoming ridiculous. We'll call it Peedway, cause they're basically pissing all over customers. (Who probably deserve it.) Seriously, I think the new Peedway logo is Way Less For Way More. You used to get 1000 bonus points for putting 50 bucks on a gift card. Now you have to put 100 bucks to get any points. For 100 bucks you get 1500 points. So you have to spend 50 more bucks to get 500 points less than 100 would have gotten you before. This is just the latest change in a string of shitty moves.

Cars 2 comes out soon, Gabe is pretty damn excited. lol.

My own rage comic

Here's my contribution ot the world of Rage comics:

Rage comics are all the... uh rage

I've been addicted to these things for the last couple of weeks. Here are some of my favorites.

I'm worried by how stupid people are

SO at work we have a freezy drink machine. Like you know, slurpee type stuff. Well, it's completely broken. So to let customers know that it's broken, there is a sign hanging on each spout saying 'PLEASE SELECT ANOTHER DRINK'. Also of course, the machine is off, the stuff isn't frozen or spinning in the little viewport. Guess how many idiots who want a freezy drink ask if the machine is broken after seeing the signs and lack of frozen product in the view port. ALMOST EVERY DAMN ONE OF THEM. Somehow, they are unable to put the clues together, mainly the signs saying none of them are working, and are still forced to ask me if the machine is working or not. Never mind the people who still grab a cup and go to pour some completely unfrozen juice like substance until I decide to call over and tell them it's broken. Also thee was a lady with two little bratty kids who literally stated crying when they came in. Crying, because a drink machine is broken. So the lady comes to the counter and says; "Is that machine really broken?"

 "Yes" I reply, instead of punching her in the face, which was my first thought.

"Can you go fix it?"

"Bitch, if I (or anyone else who worked here.) could fix it, IT WOULD BE FIXED."

That's what I really told her, minus calling her a bitch. But my eyes said bitch, and I think she could see that.

One Person I'd Like To Punch

That dude from Mythbusters. The one who wears a berret. I don't even know how to spell that and I efuse to find out.

USA! USA! USA! USA! USA!

Completely True History

During the cave man days, said cavemen used the tops of animal skulls as dinnerware. They were very proud of this evolutionary step forward, and often hosted fancy dinner parties, where they served their friends (And some enemies! Keep em closer, they say! Ha!) mammoth finger sandwhiches on sparkling 9Well, nice and gray) plates. However, when one was attacked by an animal (As was often the case back then) while eating (Also, often) one had to drop their plates as they ran, or even if they didn't, the food will fall off (A bowl would maybe have helped with this, but don't be daft, bowls weren't invented until 1956 by Edward P Bowl.) One caveman, tired of losing his evening meals (then called Breakfast. I know, crazy, right?) began using a sharp saber tooth cat rib bone to skewer his food. Then when attacked, he could run WITH his food, enjoying it as he hid in bushes. Once the food was eaten, he could even use the rib as a weapon. (Oh how Saber Tooth cats HATED being pierced by the bone of a fallen comrad. Much like Nazis. That's why the Saber Tooth Cat is known as the Nazi of the caveman days) The caveman who invented this was named Bob, and he traveled around showing others of his invention. He would pester them until they would buy one, while they muttered "Okay, Bob."

Of course, the letter O was lost to man for years (1687-1775) so Okay Bob became Kay Bob, which then was in a terrible accident and was amputated to just contain Kabob.

Columbine

Columbine
Dave Cullens
2009

I picked up this book on the bargain rack at Barnes and  Noble for five bucks. I would have paid twenty. This book is fantastic. I haven't read Helter Skelter (The book that delves into Charles Manson's psyche) but the back flap of Columbine compares the two, and I'm guessing that's a comparison that hits right on the nose. Columbine is chilling. Columbine is often tough to read. It's gripping, and you'll stay up late, wanting to read 'just one more chapter'.

First off, if you haven't ever done your own research into the massacre, especially recently, everything you probabaly think about what happened is wrong. The two killers weren't no friend losers, they weren't in the Trenchcoat Mafia (A real club of sots at their school.) There wasn't a girl named Cassie who confessed her belief in God only to be shot in the head and killed. The revelations come early and often, and I found myself eager to learn the truth. The mismanagement of the local police force of the case in the years beyond the shootings (and even a year or two before. Columbine could have been prevented.) will make you almost as sick as the killings themselves. Some people come off extremely bad in this book, beyond Eric and Dylan. In fact, if you feel a twinge of pity for Dylan, I wouldn't be surprised. Eric was a mad man, a casebook psychopath with no remorse. Dylan it turns out was never fully behind the idea until the very end, thinking of NBK (the name the killers gave their massacre, short hand for Natural Born Killers) as nothing more than a fantasy. A deranged fantasy that offered a little solace to a manic depressive boy determined to kill himself before April 19th. (April 19th was the day they planned to carry out NBK. It happened a day later, due to ammo shortages).

Dave Cullen is a journalist who has followed the case since the very beginning, and is considered the leading expert on the matter. He's read the journals, seen the tapes, interviewed the survivors, and presents what I imagine to be the absolute closest thing to the truth one could ever get about Columbine without being able to go back in time and read the killers minds. The book hops about in time, getting to the massacre petty early, then filling in back story, from a year or two before, to the decade after. You meet some of those killed, and some of those inured. You see the rage that develops one boys father and how it effects him ten years later. You watch as a boy thought to be so broken as to never walk again fight to do just that. It's a year long battle to get by without a wheelchair, crutches, even a cane.

This book is fantastic. I'm guessing a lot of people were like me, and honestly haven't thought about Columbine in a long, long time. Maybe it's time to think about it, one last time, with the help of this book.

Columbine - A+

Bridesmaids

I saw Bridesmaids a few days ago, and meant to write a little mini review. So here it is:


It's hilarious. Go see it.

Working For Google

I saw a segment on Sixty Minutes a few years ago, where they went to Google's headquarters in Awesomeville California. Everyone was zooming around on Segways, there were multiple volleyball courts, free day care, free lunch (and it was awesome lunch, steak, lobster, I think you could eat a small North Korean child if you wanted to.) It was the coolest place in the world.

Well FU*K YOU GOOGLE.

First off, what do so many people even do, working at Google? I'm not that computer savvy, and maybe up keeping Google is harder than I think, but then I'm guessing you wouldn't have time for pick up games of Volleyball. I mean, isn't Google just an automated system? How much maintenance does it really need? It seems to me two nerds could run Google in their parents basement.

I don't even get a free 95 cent pop at work. I don't even get any sort of discount, and you get a free Segway and a personal chef at Google? *Fart sound*