Butt

Playing baseball. Nothing else.




That's what Gabe told me to write on my blog today. We're playing baseball.

Really Reds?

Man, what a craphole showing by the Reds last night. First off we need to talk about Ochocinco, I mean Brandon Phillips. Seriously, pay attention. He got picked off at second for screwing around, and he would have been walked in if he hadn;t, which would have kept the game from going to 19 innings. But now, he's so damn concerned with seeming fun and cool and getting on TV extra he got thrown out. He annoys me sometimes.

And then, in the top of the 19th the Phillies had to put in a non pitcher to pitch! Yes! This is just what we needed! Oh my god, he's throwing like crap! Oh my god, Votto swung at ball 2 (which would have led to a walk.) OH no, Votto popped out. OKay, well no big deal, cause dude just hit Rolen. But then two moe pop outs. The dude was throwing to the left of the catcher by three feet most pitches. And lobbing them in when they were strikes. And we couldn't get a hit? Needless to say we lost. That has got to be the most embarassing game for the Reds all season.

Time Warner Sucks

I've waited for Time Warner to come and do something at a house I was living at probabaly at least eight or nine times. Hooking up cable, internet, fixing cable etc. The people are always nice and professional. The problem is, well the problems. Not once has the guy come in and hooked up whatever, and gotten it right on the first time. It's always "I gotta call someone" or "This light shouldn't be blinking." Blah blah blah. Either Time Warner doesn't train anyone in anything, or their products suck. And let me assure you, it's that their products suck. If dishes didn't suck a hundred times worse, I'd get one.

Finally

Kristi and I are finally sucking it up and getting our own internet, since our neighbors are really being jerks and not unlocking theirs. Since it's a pain to sit in a certain spot, this'll be my last post until Time Waner gets out here and hooks our up. See you there.

Scream 4 Review Reboot

I'm embarrassed to say that the first time I saw Scream 4 I didn't 'get it'. I enjoyed it, but I didn't see beneath the surface of the film. I didn't get how far the film went with the reboot/remake theme. Every character from the first flick has a representative in this flick. Jill is Sid, Hicks is Dewey, Kirby is Randy, etc. It's really genius. And then the film takes these familiar Scream archetypes and flips them on their heads. The second viewing of Scream 4 really cemented this one as my favorite of the sequels, and I wonder how many other people would benefit from seeing it a second time. As much as I loved it the first time, the second time was one hundred percent more enjoyable. Everything I loved about it the first time stands true. The opener is awesome, the killer/killers and his/her/their motive is fantastic. My one complaint stands true. A horrible out of place line ruins the best death in the film (and possibly the series.) The new cast is great, and their dialogue is just as rapid fie and witty as you've come to expect. (From the good Screams at least. So no wooden crap-tastic Scream 3 non sense ) Seriously, if you haven't seen Scream 4 go see it, or hell the DVD will be out shortly, it's already in cheap theaters. If you have seen it, see it again.

A by the way here, I don't think my earlier theory was right. I thought that Kevin had been forced to change what I have discussed here before as a spoiler. It didn't turn out that way in the flick, but I thought that I had still been right, and Kevin had been made to change it and that's why he left the project. I no longer feel that way. Instead I think why Kevin left is they forced him to change the ending. I think Kevin's original script had it ending after Kirby's house. Where it fades to white.

Sweep!

We took Gabe to the Red's game last night, we specifically picked last night to get tickets because they were going to have a kids run the bases thing after the game, which they cancelled. Because it was Rainy. Bleh. The game was awesome though and we killed the Cads (well until we put Chapman in who walked the bases loaded, then walked in a run. All together they scored five runs in the top of the ninth.) There was a Cardinal fan a few rows behind us, being totally obnoxious the whole game. Cheering for a team is one thing, having your parents not love you as a child and cave attention so badly you choose to annoy people for it is another. Well when we finally managed to get in the win in the end, I turned and looked right into his eyes, yelling SWEEEEEEEEEEEEEP! I wasn't the only person in the area to do this, and his walk up the stairs was pretty miserable, with everyone who had been annoyed all game getting in his face. Keep in mind I was sitting right next to to St. Louis fans, who managed to cheer for their team (the few times their team did anything to cheer about) and not get the whole section to dislike them.

Lindsay Lohan Sucks

An interesting read: http://www.wwtdd.com/2011/05/the-lindsay-lohan-crime-spree-legal-timeline/

Seriously, how many times does this bitch get to be caught doing something illegal before she ever really has to serve any time. She's been caught with drugs, she's been caught stealing, I think they caught her murdering a hobo once. I guess it's a consolation prize for us that she'll never work in anything worthwhile again, but still. I can't wait to see how her little sister turns out. Dead is my guess. She'll have to top Lindsay somehow.

Officer Mcnugget

Yesterday at work I called the police dispatch to have them send someone out because I saw a drug deal go down in the parking lot. The dealer was long gone but the person who had bought something was already impaired and was struggling to pump his gas and then figure out how to drive his truck out of the parking lot. He was literally out there for fifteen minutes after I called. The guy finally leaves, and a cop doesn't show up for another ten minutes after that. He apologizes for taking so long, asks which way he went, and gets back in his car and pulls onto the street heading in the opposite direction from the way I told him the druggie went. A co worker came inside and told me that when the cop had gotten out of his car he threw away a McDonald’s bag. I got both parties plate numbers, but if Arby's is having a two for three on roast beef sandwiches, nothing will probably get done.

SNL

I'm reading a book called Live From New York, and it's the history of SNL, from the beginning up to about 2002. The book is made up of interviews with writers, hosts, and the actors. The sad thing is, almost everyone they talk about or who speaks themselves comes off so damn bad. I love Harry Shearer, but EVERYONE in that book who worked with him talks about what a horrible person he is. Belushi (who I didn't care for much anyways) was sexist and refused to do sketches women wrote, Ben Stiller canceled hosted the second show after 9-11 partly because they wouldn't give in to the ridiculous demands he had for hosting, (Certain things in his dressing room, etc.) Chis Rock is so obsessed with race he creates rifts between him and white people where there are none. This book is a real eye opener, one that really makes me rethink ever having wanted to work in show business. Everyone just seems petty, and ridiculous, and psychotic. It's sad.

From one super poignant blog to another

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/42956890?GT1=43001

What a heartbreaking story. A popular blogger from Canada was diagnosed with Cancer in 2007 and recently passed away, after having shared the ordeal on his blog since it began. As someone who just lost a loved one to cancer, this was a hard article to read, as I think of Aunt Kathy every day.  My mother has really struggled with the loss of her sister, and I can only imagine what my cousins felt yesterday on the first mothers day without their mom. Her four kids are strong and awesome young men, and I love em all.

A Poem

Roses are red
And that's no jive
I can barely afford one crappy cell phone
but Bin Laden had five

Seriously, they pulled like five computers, five cell phones (and probabaly good ones) and a bunch of other electronic cap out of that mansion he was living in. What a d bag. He's sitting around, surfing the net on an i pad, having no real job or souce of income, (and he's famous. I think he got his start on Jersey Shore.) What a shitty world we live in.

random crap.

Everyone knows that one dude who looks like a lesbian.


If you don't know that one dude who looks like a lesbian, you are the one dude who looks like a lesbian.

We have a candy at work that is a chocolate covered cherry. The package shows one of the candies, cut in half, with the cherry inside and some clear goop spilling out. Right beneath that it says 100 percent liquid center. Um, a cherry is not liquid. Your product is a chocolate covered cherry, with some sort of goop in it. The cherry is the center.

Is Rhianna the worst thing that's ever happened to music? Yes. She is. Good god Gabe and I are watching music videos right now, and hers was just on and it's literally one of the worst songs I've ever heard. Just like every other song of hers.

Now the Black Eyed peas are on, it's not much better than a Rhinna song. It's the other two dudes turns right now. So that's not good. And why does Will.I.Am. always try to look like a robot ot something?

I drew a shark with boners for teeth yesterday. Don't ask. The point is, Jaws would have been a very different movie if the shark had had dicks for teeth. The women wouldn't have wanted to be saved.

The Five Golden Rules of Retail

1. The customer is never right (I've worked in retail since I was 14, and have never seen a customer complain and be right.)

2. The customer will never read directions, then mess something up, and blame you.

3.  Don't bother putting small print on a sign, no one will read it. If they see a sign that says two for one, and then beneath that in smaller print; Tropicana Orange Juice, the orange juice part will be ignored, and the customers will think everything in the store, and maybe the store next door is two for one.

4. SERIOUSLY, THE CUSTOMER IS NEVER RIGHT. Most people are stupid these days.

5. Do not make eye contact with a customer when you're closed down, counting your drawer. They take that an an invitation.

Do the Steelers Have Any Normal People On Their Team?

I had a funny little thing about retail worked up to go here today, but then I read about Steeler player Rashard Mendenhall and his twitter account of late. After the Death of Bin Laden, he posted:

What kind of person celebrates death? It’s amazing how people can HATE a man they have never even heard speak. We’ve only heard one side…

Um, no, we haven't heard one side, there are countless tapes and videos of Bin Laden speaking of harming and hating America and it's citizens. (Though I'd be jealous of America too if there was more live stock in my town than people. That's why Kansas is thinking about starting a new civil war.)   Rashard then continues, in response to another tweeter:

@dkeller23 We’ll never know what really happened. I just have a hard time believing a plane could take a skyscraper down demolition style

Oh jeez, he's a 9-11 denier. Seriously Pittsburgh, between this guy, a serial rapist and the creepiest looking guy I've ever seen (Hines Ward, who is probably also one of those people who believe we never landed on the moon) you have the worst group of guys in professional football.

Sleep Well

When asked how he felt about Osama Bin Laden being killed, my co worker Ricky replied, "Well, know I can sleep a little better."

I had no idea I had been sharing counter space with someone on Osama's hit list. I can't imagine what it must have been like to have lived in terror fo ten long years.

Get to sleep Ricky, you've earned it.