A pirate walks into a bar, with a giant steering wheel sticking out of his crotch. Like a big old ships wheel.
The bartender sees him approach and points to the wheel and speaks. “You know you've got a giant steering wheel sticking out of your crotch?”
The pirate nods. “Aye.” He says. “It's driving me nuts.”
I didn't write that myself or anything, but it's a favorite joke of mine. Make sure you read it in your head with a good pirate accent.
I'm reading a Star Wars book that combines Star Wars (duh) with zombies. It's pretty good, but it's one of those cases where I think I'm totally a better writer than the author. He gets to play with zombies in a Star Wars setting. I get to tell people they have to pre-pay on pumps one, two, eleven, and twelve. Not fair. I want to be a writer. I'm working on some short stories, with the plan on maybe just putting them on amazon.com for e-readers. It costs nothing, you can start making money right away and people are starting to get real publishing deals based on what they're putting out themselves.