10-10-2011

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM!

DEAR THUNDERMATTS- I think that love has no age limit. Who is right? – SOME FUCKING PEDOPHILE.

DEAR SFP- Well, it sounds like you are a pedophile.  Also, you are an idiot. You only told me what you thought, and then asked who is right. Well there is no choice there. You don’t say “Hey hon, We can have steak for dinner. Which are you feeling like tonight?”  God, pedophiles are stupid.

DEAR THUNDERMATTS- Today, my boyfriend left for Australia from USA (where we live), in which he will be staying for 160 days. He couldn't get out of the trip. During this time, I will not be able to see him, and I'll rarely get to talk to him. He's the only guy I've ever loved, and I'm the only girl he's ever loved, so his leaving is extremely hard on both of us.

The main issue is I feel as if his missing me will ruin his good time, so I was contemplating ending things so he could further enjoy his trip. This way, he'd spend 10-15 days being sad, then he'd get over it, versus 160 days of him missing me. I'm uncertain whether I should break things off, and get back together with him when he returns (if we still feel the same), or if I should stay with him and ruin his trip, but hope things work out when he returns. – WOMEN BE CRAZY

DEAR WOMEN BE CRAZY- Holy shit, are you crazy. That’s not a question by the way. You are. So you’re in love with a dude and you have to spend a few months apart, and you think you should break up? Golly. I mean, women have the weirdest freaking brains I’ve ever seen. Holy shit lady! How did you even come to this conclusion? No. You should not break up. You should cut off your hair and make a little doll that looks like you and give it to him. Like hide it though. Slip it into his luggage. And then when he gets home, cut off his face and wear it so you’ll never be apart.

DEAR THUNDERMATTS-

Hello, was hoping to get some advice. I met a guy in college when I was 20. We talked a little bit here and there. I like him alot more than just a friend. I can't seem to forget him. even though it has been almost 10 years.

Since then I dropped out of college. I don’t want to be with anyone else. I am convinced I am going to marry him one day and that he is the love of my life. He is now happily married to another girl now.

I emailed him in February 2010. He said he didn't think we should talk because he is married now and doesn't live in this area anymore. What should I do about this situation? should I try to find someone else? I love him though- WOMAN BE EVEN CRAZIER

DEA WBEC- Well obviously the dude has a thing for you. Read between the lines of his email. You’ll see that he wants you but feels trap. Move to where he lives now, and kill his wife. Make sure you make it seem like an accident! Then he’ll be free to get with you. Seriously though lady, you are insane. YOU NEVER DATED THIS GUY. YOU ARE A PSYCHO!

IT'S A CAT

So Chris Pratt (who is awesome on Parks and Rec) gave his (and his wife's, Anna Faris) cat away to someone on twitter. The cat is super old I guess, and poops everywhere, and they are planning on having kids. So he didn't want an old pooping thing hanging out. (that's why I don't invite my mom over much. Zing! Just kidding. love you mom.) Well of course the creepy cat ladies are having a fit that you would just dump some old ass cat to a stranger. Well guess what you freakin' looneys. IT'S A CAT. It's not a big deal. It doesn't give a shit who feeds it. Leave the dude alone. Jeezle petes. Chris rules.

Anywho, get on facebook and like this page you suckas.

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Sunshine-Valley/228113287244064

The awesomely talented Adam Hicks and the averagely talented me have teamed up for an awesome comic titled Sunshine Valley. If you're going to NYCC you can buy a preview for issue one. We're going ot get the first issue finished and then shop it around. SO like the page, cause we'll be keeping everything up to date and have some fun contests planned.

Andy on Andy (that's hot.)

A special blog today. Any Rooney recently semi retired from 60 minutes. I reached out to him and he graciously agreed to write a special blog post on his career and retirement. So here he is.


I'm Andy Rooney, and I don't much care for the color blue. Little boy blue isn't a very good fairy tale story, now is it? I'm not going to be doing 60 minutes regularly. I have to eat some special kind of yogurt that keeps me bowel movements regular. Why does bowel look so much like bowl? I don't much care to eat ass. I've heard some folks do, but it's not for me. I didn't always just say things as I thought them on 60 minutes. I used to be a war correspondent. I covered the Civil War at the personal bequest of President Kennedy. There wasn't much Civil about the Civil war, but I like it a lot more than the Civic War. I only buy American cars, cause I'm not a filth communist.

Really though, blue is what it's called when you're sad. Who would like that color? I think smurfs are creepy. I tried to wear footie pajama bottoms and no shirt once in the sixties. I got pregnant. That was crazy times, though I spent most of the sixties in Canada covering World War II. I'll never forgive those Canadians for Pearl Harbor.

I guess I do like blue berry pancakes, but they look sot of blackish purple in pancakes don't they? I wouldn't recommend putting icing on pancakes, even though they have cake in the name. It's a little misleading isn't it? There's a bit of wisdom in the word misleading. If you ever let a miss lead, you'll end up lost! Ha! I covered the six day bloody war that broke out when women fought for the right to vote. Speaking of voting, who is Chad? and what exactly was he hung for?

I had a blue car once, and I swear to God the damn thing would purposefully aim for pedestrians. It had a murderous mind of it's own. Morley Safer is a real son of a bitch. I want everyone to know that. I bet his favorite color is blue.

Well, that's it, I'll be seeing you. In hell.